Guess Who’d Fall For This: The Utility of Memes in Modern Dating
by Sophie Browning
this piece is part of OPTIMISED LOVE, our first digital collection of works.
I tell everyone that I found love through memes. I run a meme page called @joan.of.arca on Instagram. Making that account changed my life in more ways than I could ever imagine. Armed with enough followers to stand out in his notification tab, I became mutuals with (and eventually girlfriend to) a man who also posted memes, memes that not only made my stomach hurt from laughter, but revealed to me the depths of his soul.
In a world where courting is digitally mediated, memes are among the most important romantic tools we have in modern dating. Dating apps have provided people with an unprecedented level of control over how they are perceived in romantic situations, granting us the unnatural power to present ourselves through an artfully-curated package of images and text designed with the intention of attracting a certain type of person while making ourselves feel as desirable as possible. This warped mode of communication, which is now so ordinary that it feels strange to even acknowledge its artificiality, creates an environment where memes thrive as the ultimate expression of one’s interests, feelings, and desires. As writer Nicola Brown writes, memes “condense the richness and nuances of certain sentiments into a single communicative unit” (Brown, 2017). When included as an image on a person’s profile, memes serve as a funnel through which we can efficiently sort through an excess of suitors, increasing the likelihood that we match with someone who shares our specific brand of humor or our supposedly “niche” interests.
Beyond simply stating to your match that “I am funny,” memes also work a roadmap for the other person, allowing both parties to avoid the awkward small talk and speedrun the dreaded “talking stage” by immediately connecting over the meme and its content. In this meme below, the creator (and those who share memes like it on their dating profiles), quite literally provides a list of everything necessary to “trap” them. Instead of taking the time to ask about a person’s interests or observe the person’s tastes over time, we know exactly what music to play in the car when we pick them up for a date, or the exact type of perfume to buy them for their birthday. We can learn all of this before we speak to the person, before we even decide to swipe right. In this way, memes are tremendously powerful in optimizing the dating process, allowing us to sift through an overwhelming amount of options. Plus, they make us seem sexy and hot and cool and mysterious and esoteric and different and also so normal.
Bibliography:
Brown, N. (2017, June 6). What is a meme and what does this obsession say about the future of Communication?. Skyword. https://www.skyword.com/contentstandard/meme-obsession-say-future-communication/
𝓼𝓸𝓹𝓱𝓲𝓮 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝔀𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰
@joan.of.arca (aka Sophie) is a memestress (female meme page admin) and an aspiring writer and artist based in NYC.
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